i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize