Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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