im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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