we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Randomize
