did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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