do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
