He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
