operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize