When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
