im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
