I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
