dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
