Sry I called you an 8
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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