Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
