sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize