Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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