did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
