kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
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Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
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I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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