Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
