I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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