Dual....:-)
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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