Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
