Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
