we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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