You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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