Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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