Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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