also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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