I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
