I'm jealous of your bromance
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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