I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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