hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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