Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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