i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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