I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
