therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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