The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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