bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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