Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
