She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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