4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize