its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
