just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
