Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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