we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
false alarm, still single
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