i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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