dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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