I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
