Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
