Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
How naked do you want me to be?
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