spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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