Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize