Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
