My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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