Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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