dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
