Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize