big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize