I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
