I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
