party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize