just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
