And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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