Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
