let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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